Satoru Fixed Anime
by Burst-in-Flames Tiger
Summary: Satoru, 28 years old, was gifted with the power of STAND, a manifestation of fighting spirit. With that, he must right what's wrong or else he'll relive the same time-frame again and again and again and again and again until he did something right because the story willed it to happen! This is a stress-reliever parody. I had to let it out somehow.
1. SATORU FIXED ANIME

**Satoru Fixed Anime**

 **I own nothing.**

* * *

It was a sunny morning. Satoru was slowly turning twenty-eight years old. He aspired to be a manga artist, but so far, he had no luck in the industry. With the company slowly moving in to accept younger authors, chances of him ever getting into the industry became even slimmer than ever. He had the talent, but his tendency to play it safe, holding back character depth, growth, and cutting corners on his story, and not taking the risk, were all his big flaws.

All of that, as he thought about it, lead to his memory about his childhood. Children were killed left and right, and the more he tried to remember, the more hurt his head became. His memory began to loop back and forth between the events of the past, and then to a boy he didn't remember had existed before. It was a boy called Hiromi. The name went all over his head, but his brain came to no conclusion as he walked inside the pizza parlor he worked in. OasiPizza.

"Satoru, good morning," said a girl.

He knew the girl. She was a part-timer, Airi. She wasn't usually this open to anyone. Something good must have had happened before his arrival.

"Good afternoon," said Satoru. "It's time to change shifts."

"Well, we got a few delivery, two in-fact. One for you and the other for me," the girl handed a stack of pizza and divided it by half. One other was for Satoru to carry. "You're in charge of this side," Airi moved her hands toward the pizza on one side before moving to the other stack of pizza. "And this side is mine, alright team, move out!"

And so Satoru went with the delivery bike.

Then he felt something pulsing inside him.

It was something that always happened when there was something wrong with his surroundings. Whenever he was about to witness a tragedy, his mind went into a loop and made everything lop around to about three to five minutes before any accident would happen. When he was about to cross an intersection, he looped back to his existence around five minutes ago just before the red light. After confirming that, he passed a truck whose driver was seemingly unconscious, and with that, he shouted from the top of his lungs.

" **KILLER QUEEN BITES THE DUST!"**

A muscular, cat-like, and pink-bodied figure appeared from behind Satoru. There was a click in the air and everything exploded, but now something was different. He swerved the delivery bike and made a U-turn, pizza still on the back. He pulled the bike close to the truck this time, and touched the glass, which exploded shortly after contact.

"Hey wake up!"

No response.

"Oh my god, the driver's dead!" Satoru said out loud. His mind slowly thinking that this must be the work of an enemy stand! No other choice then. Desperate need called for desperate measure, but in reality, he wouldn't really want to choose this course of action. After all, what Satoru wanted was just a quiet and peaceful life.

Holding onto the steering wheel, he swerved the truck away from some child whose parent wasn't there to watch him. Just be glad that he didn't find the kid trying to jump from a tall building or something, because that would be harder to catch. With a swift movement, the truck went crashing into a store, exploded into hell, but miraculously, nobody got hurt.

Except Satoru who were sent to the intensive care ward.

Good thing he wasn't in a coma, or else that would really suck.

As soon as he woke up, there was mom.

"Hey mom."

"Hey son, do you know if a train from Tokyo can switch to Ueno?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

And beside him was Airi.

"Hey Satoru."

"Hey Airi."

"You two lovers?" Mom asked.

"No," both of them said in unison. They were fit for each other.

And so they went home.

"Hey Satoru, want some curry?"

"Yes."

Then they went shopping to make curry. A potful of them in-fact, and Airi was invited. There was something about the future that they talked about as they ate curry and it was pretty meaningful to their stomachs. Airi, disregarding her stature, were actually a big eater. She was also a pretty active talker as she asked for her fifth plate of curry.

"More please."

"Sure do," said Mom. "Satoru, she's a keeper."

"Shut up, mom!" said both of them in unison. They were fit for each other.

After a long while, Airi went home.

"Satoru, sleep on the sleeping bag."

"Ok."

"And let me hoard the television."

"Ok."

And that was how Satoru slept that day.

Without television.

The next day, Mom went to Ueno and Satoru went into his job. After a shift change with Airi, he got a call from his mother to come pick her up. So he went there and found his mom waiting with a bunch of groceries. At that moment, there were those sensations again. It was throbbing inside him, slowly getting harder and stronger and louder. He looked to his mom who were looking at a man who were looking at a child who were looking at her ice cream who had no eyes. Somehow realizing that, the man left the kid with her ice cream and left on a car. And then Satoru whispered sexily as he rushed to touch the car and did manage to touch its frame after a quick sprint.

" **Killer Queen Bites the Dust."**

And then the car exploded or so it seemed, but something fixed it out of the freaking nowhere. There was only one conclusion to this. The opponent he was facing this time, was a stand user, and a competent one with the power to instantly fix everything, but not the user himself maybe it was just a conjecture backed by a hunch and a gut feeling.

Meanwhile, mom was confused as to what that was all about.

Later that night, mom got killed.

As her life flashed by before her eyes, she remembered about the time she raised Satoru. How he was growing up. How much he loved to watch superhero shows, how much he liked to go to the festivals with her when it was summer, looking at the fireworks, and how she was overjoyed when she hugged Satoru in her arms after she gave birth to him. At that moment, when he felt his body, small and warm, through her hand, big and cold, she felt like the happiest woman in the world. With the last ounce of her strength, she reached for her phone, but was denied of that and left the world with regret.

Satoru, oblivious to what happened, opened the door home like usual.

And found his mother dead.

Lifeless, lying in a puddle of blood, dead.

Emotions began running inside his head. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her. So many things that he wanted to yell at her. It was a look of anger, confusion, disdain, sadness, regret, wallow, anguish, and doubt. When he tried to perform CPR however, was when he was hit with the hardest realization.

She was dead.

With bloodstained hands, he screamed and was found out by the neighbor. In panic, he touched the lady and shouted.

" **KILLER QUEEN!"**

And with a click she exploded before she could make stupid assumptions like a stupid girl that she would become in a moment. The last thing he wanted would be to be misunderstood and tried for murdering his own mother. What kind of twisted individual would want to do this sort of thing to him? He didn't remember doing anything wrong to anyone in his life!

When he looked down under the railing however, answered his question.

It was a shifty looking fellow shrouded in darkness in a dark suit.

"You bastard!"

Satoru yelled as he leaped from the railing of the second floor and landed on the ground. Picking up his pace, he went straight for the suspicious looking person who leaped above the fence. If it was a cardio match he wanted, he got it.

"You, stop!" said a passing policemen. "I will now arrest you under the charge of trying to assault a guy in shifty clothings!"

" **KILLER QUEEN!"**

Satoru yelled and the cop exploded on contact with a rock that was turned into a contact bomb. As the cop disappeared into the wind, Satoru made way to the guy in shady clothes and finally cornered him into a dead end.

"You're cornered now!"

"No, this is what I wanted in the first place."

The voice sounded raspy and very quiet, it was the voice of an old man.

" **CRAZY DIAMOND!"**

Said the suspect, and from behind him came an apparition, a manifestation of his fighting spirit. Because they always stand by the user, they call this phenomenon a STAND. Satoru of course, had one, and so did the killer. If it was the same stand Satoru had encountered before he had the power to fix things but himself, so all he needed to do was to attack the stand-user.

Except he can't because Crazy Diamond was faster than a bullet train. From first glance, it looked quite slow but able-bodied, but experiencing it first-hand was different than just speculating about it non-stop and he paid the punishment for that. His fist pummeled Satoru like crazy. Then he realized that he was in a loop. His power seemed to be running wild inside him as he began to loop his existence from when he was about to be punched and until he got punched over and over and over and over and decided that enough was enough. With a loud roar he ordered his stand.

" **KILLER QUEEN BITES THE DUST!"**

And then everything exploded, but then didn't because Crazy Diamond was punching the explosion. The explosion was fixed along with time itself, and with that, everything went into a spiral that seemed to go on and on up until it would reach heaven. As Satoru felt the existence that was reality itself slowly turning into mush and paste, Satoru blinked to wake up on his bed with the alarm ringing beside him, stopping, and then the radio in the kitchen played a tune very familiar to him.

"What."

* * *

 **It's JoJoke.**

 **I made this fic because I don't like the ending of this anime so BITES THE DUST!**

 **SOMEBODY ADAPT THE MANGA AND MAKE A BOKU DAKE GA INAI MACHI BROTHERHOOD PLEASE**


	2. SATORU BROKE ANIME

**Satoru Broke Anime**

 **I Own Nothing**

* * *

He was sent back to the past.

Now he could just mess around and change the past as he willed it! Hooray for this and ridiculous development... if not for the fact that he should be glad that he was given a chance to turn back time again and set what was right. Since somebody did kill his mother and all.

"Killer Queen," said Satoru quietly, and he seemed to still had his stand, although his form looked younger than it should be. He would check out about its power later on, because it was time for breakfast. Mom seemed to have left early for work and he needed to be in school at this time of the day, and so he went.

At school, he was surprised, he really did went back in time.

But something else piqued his interest more. It was Yashiro-sensei himself, wearing the same suspicious shady tasteless and fashionably defective clothes that he kept wearing even until he went into his oldies. It was either that or it was a coincidence, but since the cast roster of the franchise alone was already limited, it was right time to test the waters.

"Okay everyone, this might sound crazy but I'm from the future!"

"Wait what?" said everyone.

"I came from the future where my mom was killed by a guy in shady clothing wearing all black like Yashiro-sensei in-front but without a hat and is old."

Satoru yelled loudly.

The teacher, Yashiro Gaku, was piqued while the whole class laughed. Now it was the right moment to try his theory. Taking a deep breath, he flexed his body and stroke a pose before his laughing classmates and chuckling teacher before screaming at the top of his prepubescent lung.

" **KILLER QUEEN BITES THE DUST!"**

And everything exploded until just before he was about to enter the classroom.

Based from that instance alone, it was deemed that Yashiro Gaku was his mom's killer. The reason being that he wore the same black shirt, the same black pants, and in the opening, he looked very suspicious as all hell! And nobody was stupid enough to not laugh first-hand at an admittedly retarded line to say first thing in the morning.

And with that, it was time to make his move.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Wait, where was Kayo?

"If you're going to ask about Kayo, she's late again, Satoru," Kenya said from somewhere, knowing full well about what Satoru was thinking. "But why do you suddenly care about her, Satoru?"

"I don't know. Maybe it would make much more sense in the anime!"

And everybody laughed.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

"Hiromi."

"What?" Hiromi asked.

"You're going to be dead comes my birthday."

"What!?"

"Just kidding."

"No wait, wha—"

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 **TO BE CONTINUED  
**


	3. SATORU LOVED ANIME

**Satoru Loved Anime**

 **I own Kayo.**

 **I mean nothing.**

* * *

Kayo slid the door open with bruises all over the place. It was hidden inside her jacket and shirt and stocking and what-not, but there was still a mark left at the nape of her neck and it was visible very clearly by Satoru.

"That's horrible," said Satoru.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll kill your mom."

"...Do it."

"Cool."

And so Satoru and Kayo walked into the apartment and blew everything away. Kayo watched as her cage began to fly away into the air and killed everything inside it including her mom and her boyfriend who knew he could get a better fish to bed than that female dog. The news came and treated it as an unfortunate gas explosion that killed many, but after they found out that Kayo was abused day in day out, only given a cup noodle a bread and not even a glass of drink along with 200 yen for allowance, the crowd took pity on her and she started living with her grandmother again.

Satoru wiped the sweat on his forehead.

"Well, that was easier than I thought."

And then Yashiro came out nowhere and punched a hole through Satoru's stomach and send him flying into a water tank. It was so sudden and so out of the left field that not even a container full of suckers would be able to justify Yashiro's out of the blue action. Killing kids like that with his stand, for shame!

But sexily, with his dying, sexy breath no less, Satoru spoke softly.

" **Killer Queen... Bites... the... dust."**

And then everything exploded.

And this time, Kayo was killed.

And so was Hiromi.

And Satoru was now in the future.

* * *

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. SATORU WOKE ANIME

**Satoru Woke Anime**

 **I own nothing**

* * *

"Good morning, Satoru."

And then Satoru woke up from a fifteen years of slumber. His mom was beside him, hugging him tenderly with tears in her eyes. His vision was hazy, and nothing made sense now. He was old, clearly time had passed him and left him behind. He was in the intensive care facility for three years, and then twelve years in his home.

As he tried to recover, Kayo came in.

"I'm married to Hiromi now."

"Wait what."

"Okay, time to feed the baby, bye."

"Wait what."

And then when Satoru touched the baby's palm something inside Satoru began to stir as Satoru began to stir up his long gone memory and with that he was awakened but fell because he forgot he was in a coma for fifteen years and his joints and limbs weren't supposed to be able to take him to walk straight yet and so he had to endure around a year of rigorous medication and rehabilitation to get to where he could stand now.

It was time to kill Yashiro.

"Don't you mean, catch Yashiro, Satoru?" asked Kenya.

"Yes, we kill Yashiro."

"Nice."

And then everybody laughed, but nobody laughed the hardest than the author right now because he's very stressed and angry at Erased leaving out so many crucial details to the story and making its own ending that honestly was inferior to the source material because there was a need to flesh out a certain character's motivation and role in the grand scheme of the plot or else things wouldn't make sense and only would leave a bad taste to everyone's mouth so it's time to stop this farce and go to that route.

The manga route.

* * *

 **Let's go.**


End file.
